Dear Lola – Child’s gift wishlist is met with disbelief…

Dear Lola,

My son heard Christmas carols on the radio today and instantly kicked into holiday high gear. He sat down and began writing out his Christmas wishlist – his first now that he knows how to write. The wishlist is absolutely unreasonable and I cannot even fathom giving it out to people. Not only are the gifts over the top in cost for a small child, but the gifts are also aimed at specific people. My son seems to know who can afford to give a little extra – he said he knows because of their cars and houses.

I spoke with my wife privately and she says we should just give the list out to the family and let them decide if they want to purchase from his list or buy something else. I think this is madness! I do not want my child thinking it is ok to fleece family members for all their worth in order to please the small dictator. I am quite concerned they will go overboard because he is the only child on both sides of the family. Lola, I have grave concerns that he has no appreciation for the holidays and family and is instead solely focused on how much loot he receives. What should I do?

Sincerely,

Frazzled Father

Dear Frazzled Father,

Your panic made me giggle because I am envisioning every single parent on the face on this planet (and any other planet inhabited by young members of an advanced species) facing this very same scenario. Every family has that rude awakening when their precious Miniature Human learns how to write their very first wishlist.

Unfortunately, they haven’t learned the value of a dollar yet.

The only thing Miniature Humans really know about money is that it grows on trees and one must simply ask for it and they shall receive it. It’s not like your Miniature Human has a job that he goes to every day in order to pay for his life of luxury. He simply wakes up and his life is funded. I think you need to ask yourself this question and then answer it honestly. Are you shocked by his wishlist, or slightly impressed by his ingenuity in deciding which family member is more likely to grant him the expensive stuff? I know that I am taking notes because obviously my own wishlist tactics have not been working out.

I’m still waiting on that riding dinosaur I requested two years ago.

I can understand your frustration but I think I am going to side with your wife on this one. You should give out the list to family members by snapping a picture and sending it off. That way everyone can get a good chuckle at how marvelous your Miniature Human is. Even without knowing the true value of a dollar, your Miniature Human was able to deduce who might be more well off based on their lifestyle choices.

It’s shows a certain spark of genius that should be admired.

Now, as for the worry that your Miniature Human is going to become a spoiled tyrant, I think we can let that fear go. Since the dawn of the Santa Claus epidemic, parents have been worried about this issue. Fortunately, you can easily counter it by gifting socks and underwear. No one wants them as a gift, yet they somehow find themselves under every Christmas tree across the world. I got leg warmers and a silly hat last year. Miniature Humans open these ‘gifts’ and are instantly reminded that sometimes you get what you get and you don’t get upset.

It’s a steep learning curve, but we all had to climb it.

Your Miniature Human is getting his first taste of wishlist freedom and he is reveling in it. No longer at the mercy of his pencil-wielding parents, your Miniature Human is making his dreams come true. As he grows and matures, he will become more aware of what is appropriate in society. Right now, he simply knows that there is a fat man in a red suit who drops things down a chimney.

If you can’t reach for the stars at Christmas, then when can you?!

As for your worry that your Miniature Human doesn’t appreciate the holidays for what they are really about – family togetherness – it’s time for you to get to work. These ideas of holidays come about through action. Make sure to include your Miniature Human in the holiday shopping and wrapping gifts for the rest of his family. Nothing teaches appreciation quite like your first wrapping paper cut that burns like a forest fire. Making plans with friends and family that does not involve the opening of package would be another great way to teach your Miniature Human that the holidays are about quality time with loved ones.

Consider doing volunteer work and continuing it throughout the year.

There are countless programs across the globe that need your time, effort and energy in order to function. Not only do humans need help, but pet shelters also gladly welcome your efforts. You would be amazed at the number of family pets that are dumped during the holidays, leaving shelters frantic to provide for them all. I also highly recommend you participate in a holiday toy drive. Your Miniature Human will see that not everyone is as fortunate as he is.

I do feel the need to warn you of one potential downfall of the toy drive idea.

Miniature Humans usually tend to pick out gifts that they would like to receive. This can lead to a hard moment when it is time to give that treasured toy up. However hard this moment is, I guarantee you it will be worth the effort. The tears are usually extremely brief, but the chatter on the car ride home will be glorious. I’ve never met a Miniature Human who wasn’t overwhelmed with pride at their present picking skills and their sincere hope that the other Miniature Human likes it.

Bet that put a tear in your eye just thinking about it.

♥Lola♥

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